"Gayle, Somewhere Else"

"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."

~T.S. Eliot

I have traveled a lot over the past two years. A LOT. I believe travel is the best education certainly, yet there is a time and place for it. As a painter, I need a quiet studio, without frenetic energy, in which to create. Some artists thrive on chaos in which to make their art, but not me. To gather moss is not necessarily a bad thing. Moss is productive in its own right. But the "rolling stone gathers no moss" maxim has an important message. Do not stagnate. Stay active, even when you are still. 

So, travel. Experiences outside of the studio: Camping in Denali and Yosemite National Park, The Mediterranean, Cappadocia, Vancouver Island, The Yukon, Manhattan, The Outer Banks, the Midwest, the desert, the ocean, fireflies, many moons. All of these experiences have enriched me enough to last a lifetime. I cherish each memory. But the most important thing I have gleaned from these two years is that I need to return to the figure. I want to re-examine what can never be truly understood. Painting a form, a person, who may be somewhere else, far away, but appears to rest, that is the undiscovered country that I want to explore. 

Many people have commented that my self-portraits and figurative work convey sadness. "Gayle, Somewhere Else", oil on panel, 40"x48"is no exception. But she is not sad. Or maybe she is. My goal is not to paint someone 'posing', someone aware of the viewer. I want to capture the quiet moments of solitude. Often in solitude we are not smiling from ear to ear, and sometimes we are. Thus my portraits are contemplative yes, but, by and large, not sad (to me). And to be sad...is that such a horrible thing? Without sadness how could we appreciate the happy times? Just saying.

Here is the first stage of the painting. I wanted to include these so that you could see how it all developed. For the first couple of painting sessions I just tried to cover the white of the canvas. I should do an underpainting, but I'm too impatient. I try to move around the canvas and work the entire piece as much as possible to retain balance. I mix each brush stroke or two with new paint. I never work with a pre-mixed batch of a certain colour. Again, no patience. It is funny how we get into habits, routines. Perhaps we are not meant to break them :)

Stage two finds the colour spreading as the drapery starts to take form. 

Below you see the painting almost completed. I wanted the drapery to encircle her, as it protecting her. I had worked quite a bit on the skin tones here but still was dealing with rendering the sheets to my satisfaction. One friend has commented that the sheets resemble the folds of one's mind. I like that metaphor. She is quite oblivious to the outside world, or appears so, and instead is negotiating the terrain of her mind. 

Upon completing this painting I was filled with a sense of happiness to be back doing what I love most...capturing the figure in quiet moments. The next year will be filled with more of these paintings, as well as completing some commissions. I know that I will always travel, always need to get out, camp, hike and see new places. And be aware that this blog post is coming to you from Fairbanks, Alaska! But happily, I will take off my hiking boots soon. It is good. It is balance. And balance is everything.   

Have a wonderful day, wherever in the world you may be....

Heather

"Gayle, Somewhere Else" is also available as a print!  Check out the link here on Deviantart. Thanks!

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"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination."~John Lennon

Paris...Where Will You Let It Take You?

"I invent nothing. I rediscover."~Auguste Rodin

Happy New Year! The year brings with it new experiences, artwork, friendships and potential for growth as artists and individuals.

I have collected a few images that I photographed on an amazing journey to France last autumn.  A  commission project took me to the South Of France. The clients, who are now dear friends enabled me to take thousands of photos while staying with them. I could easily live in France. The slower pace and savouring of time, food and company help with one prone to a busy, overly-active mind.

The images found in this blog post are all available for purchase as fine art prints, photo prints and more here on my DeviantArt page. DeviantArt is a huge, online community of passionate artists and creatives and a great hub of excitement about all things art.

These images are taken mostly from Paris, with the Arc De Triomphe and Notre Dame offering many opportunities to capture amazing subjects in shifting light and atmospheres. Here are two images taken from a visit up the Arc De Triomphe...

Ascending the many steps up to the top of the Arc De Triomphe

..this image reminds me of a nautilus shell.

The Arc De Triomphe wasn't too busy that day...but considering it is one of the most frequently visited spots in Paris, there was a large volume of people there. The views from the top of the Arc were spectacular and showed the city radiating out in all directions like waves out from a central point. There was a "study" for one of the relief sculptures on the outside of the Arc found inside en route to the top. The detail and quality of expression on this figure truly amazed me. I shot numerous photos of this statue but this one was my favourite..

Another day involved a visit to the very popular Pere LaChaise Cemetery. Most people go to track down the grave of Jim Morrison, lead singer of "The Doors". Morrison's body was removed from the grave man years ago for fear of vandalism I believe. While walking around the cemetery I spied this lovely statue. A bit of grief frozen in time. I always marvel how soft fabric can retain that visual quality even when sculpted from stone, marble or bronze.

The next day I visited Notre Dame De Paris, one of the most famous cathedrals in the world. As I meandered past many shrines to different saints, the crowds were respectful and quiet and spoke in hushed tones all around. I stopped to take a shot of one of the many places that votive candles had been set out to be lit by the devout or simply visitors moved to be at the cathedral.

The warm glow of the votives contrasted nicely with the echoing

 acoustics and cool grey stone of the cathedral..

There were many beautiful statues in Notre Dame but the one which I enjoyed the most was the solitary figure of Joan Of Arc off in a corner, a bit of light illuminating the statue.  Her resolute posture struck a chord. 

After exploring the cathedral from the inside I decided to head up the hundreds of stairs to view the famous gargoyles en route to the top of the structure. I was not disappointed. The gargoyles cut a great profile on the skyline of Paris...watch guards who keep a constant vigil over the City Of Lights. There was must quiet jostling of precious real estate space up there on the terrace. People were leaning out and snapping photographs like mad, myself included.

These gargoyles jutted out and perched on the corners surrounding the periphery of the cathedral. I tried to imagine sitting there, looking out forever at the same view, but a constantly changing view too, with people and seasons altering the landscape. While I was out on the small catwalk a group of cleaners appeared out of nowhere and regarded their charges. The gargoyles stared back. It was a rather amusing moment.

The gargoyle seemed to defy the sky to descend upon the city..

A fun juxtaposition..acrophobes need not apply:)

These photographs have been culled from a large number of shots...thousands of them actually. Look for more blog entries about the amazing city of Paris within the coming weeks...these are but a few of the many sights that caught my mind and heart out in the City Of Lights. I can easily say that Paris is the most beautiful large city that I have ever had the pleasure to visit. I could live there, unlike other large cities of the world. There is room to breathe, character at every corner and romance, yes, is everywhere. It is a place of dreams, a place that belongs to artists and those with a desire to push themselves to the edge of their imagination and beyond...

"An artist has no home in Europe except in Paris."~Friedrich Nietzsche

Thoughts on An Extraordinary Year..

"North on I-29", oil on panel, 16"x16"

This past year has been ridiculously full of travel and exploration. From hiking over mossy trails on Vancouver Island, jogging along the Yukon River in Whitehorse, Yukon Territory, standing in sun looking out at the splendour of Cappadocia in Turkey, peering over the shoulders of gargoyles at Notre Dame in Paris, witnessing the impossibly blue Mediterranean Sea, touching the spines of Saguaro Cacti in the south of Arizona, standing beneath the quiet hush of giant sequoias in California's Yosemite National Park, and seeing Mt. McKinley in the heart of Denali National Park in its full glory, I would not trade a moment of it for anything. 

A flicker surveys the surrounding desert landscape from atop a saguaro cactus, Arizona..

It has been a year of reference-collecting extraordinaire. But it is not distance nor quantity of places that matter. It is what you glean and distill from each day that has meaning and builds upon the fibres of your being. Whether you live in a cave (like one woman I met in Turkey) or rub shoulders with arctic tundra on daily basis...is is what we choose to store inside our minds and hearts that counts. 

The sublime drive into Delta Junction, Yukon Territory

As Francis Bacon once said: "The job of the artist is to deepen the mystery." 

This is an exciting and challenging task. I am trying my best to do this with my artwork, blogs, photos and other creative projects. Or course one has to venture inwards as much as outwards to fully express how you feel with regards to you work. I hope you have enjoyed these posts this past year, and just imagine what the future holds! 2012 sees another voyage to Alaska, a 200 km hiking adventure above the Arctic Circle in Greenland, and lots and lots of time in the studio getting back to painting the figure. I can't wait!

Cave dwellings thousands of years old in Goreme, Cappadocia, Turkey

The year has also seen "Back To The Wild: The Photographs And Writings Of Christopher McCandless" grow and evolve. We expect to publish the DVD and book in the early part of 2011. You can read more about the project here. It has been an incredible journey helping to bring the photographs and experiences of Chris McCandless to light for the world to see.

"The Big Blue": The Mediterranean in the South Of France

While a good number of paintings have come out of the studio, even more will be produced next year as I let the experiences of 2010 ferment and turn into fuel for future works. I have painted three landscapes recently, one of which is at the top of this post. I love painting these pieces yet I yearn to re-embrace portraiture and figurative work.This is at the top of my list of goals for 2011.

"Uzes Kitchen", oil on canvas, 24"x18", 2010

Private Collection

Magnificent Mount McKinley in Alaska, the highest peak in North America

So thank-you for coming along on these journeys with me over the past year. Many of you have been following my work for years already! I appreciate your support and belief in what I do. If you are interested in the painting "North On I-29", at the top of this blog, please contact Abbozzo Gallery. Also I have set up an online ordering system for prints of my paintings and photographs! Here is the link to purchase prints.  I will add more paintings and photographs to the list of available pieces soon. You can purchase fine art prints, photo prints, mugs, magnets and more!  May 2012 be your best year yet!

Sincerely, Heather "Moving Forward" by Rainer Maria Rilke The deep parts of my life pour onward, as if the river shores were opening out. It seems that things are more like me now, that I can see farther into paintings. I feel closer to what language can't reach. With my senses, as with birds, I climb into the windy heaven, out of the oak,  in the ponds broken off from the sky my falling sinks, as if standing on fishes.

"Towards Fairbanks" and "The Swan" by Mary Oliver

"Towards Fairbanks, oil on panel, 9"x12", 2010

                               The Swan      by Mary Oliver

Did you too see it, drifting, all night, on the black river?

Did you see it in the morning, rising into the silvery air -

An armful of white blossoms,

A perfect commotion of silk and linen as it leaned

into the bondage of its wings; a snowbank, a bank of lilies,

Biting the air with its black beak?

Did you hear it, fluting and whistling

A shrill dark music - like the rain pelting the trees - like a waterfall

Knifing down the black ledges?

And did you see it, finally, just under the clouds -

A white cross Streaming across the sky, its feet

Like black leaves, its wings Like the stretching light of the river?

And did you feel it, in your heart, how it pertained to everything?

And have you too finally figured out what beauty is for?

And have you changed your life?

This painting and two other new landscapes are available at
Abbozzo Gallery! 

Wishing you a Happy Holiday and a wonderful New Year!

Cavorting in Yosemite National Park

"I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate."~Vincent Van Gogh

After our day trip to the ghost town of Bodie, California, my friend Jay and I decided to explore more of Yosemite National Park where we were camped for a week. The entire region was a sensory overload...to witness "Nature's Cathedral" so intensely was something we knew we would hold close to our hearts forever. With each glance upward cliffs of granite greeted us and we watched the light slant and change every hour. We had our adventure shoes on, and plenty of good coffee too!

We had a great system of filters and coffee to jump start our mornings at camp

On one of our last days we went to the top of Glacier Point, over 3,000 feet above the valley floor. It was amazing and vertigo-inducing to look down over the edge to Curry Village down below. People scurried about like ants and cars were the size of pebbles. 

The winding climb that took over an hour to reach the top had us giddy with the knowledge that we were in such an amazing place. It was hot...every day was...July in Yosemite challenges your body to maintain a steady temperature, yet the climate is so variable that we were quite cold when twilight dipped into camp. Being in the high Sierras forces you to be prepared for the dramatic fluctuations in temperature from mid day to the middle of the night.

Here is a view looking out from Glacier Point. Half Dome, that sheer granite cliff that has inspired artists and naturalists for ages stands resolutely off to the right hand side. Here is a closer view of Half Dome below. It is hard to believe that it towers 4,744 ft above the valley floor... 

Spending time in Yosemite National Park fostered a new appreciation for the beautiful variation of the earth. It is continually a surprise, an adventure, an invitation to reach out beyond our preconceived ideas about what the world is about. It was my first time in California and I can see why people wax romantic about that state. Granted I only saw a small pocket of it, but an important and significant place. I am pleased that Yosemite National Park is protected, and, while heavily traveled, there is a conscientious attitude there to preserve and enjoy it for future generations. John Muir set a good example and the park simply would not exist without him. 

"Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, 

where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul."~John Muir

A view looking down Lower Yosemite Valley

On one of our last days in the Yosemite area, we ventured up to the Northeastern section of the park to Tuolumne Meadows. The drive took us on a winding road over to Olmstead point, which presented gorgeous views of the park from an entirely different angle. All told, we traveled from the top to the bottom of the park over the course of 8 days and did a great amount of hiking. From the vast expanse of the valley floor to standing in the soft shadow of giant sequoia trees, we embraced all that nature had to offer.

 Crazy-gorgeous sky and clouds, with slabs of mountains falling away

 as we drove towards Tuolumne Meadows..

At last...Tuolumne Meadows. Standing here was the highlight of my time in Yosemite..

Tuolumne Meadows literally took my breath away. We walked out on to the emerald expanse, and I could not help but spin around in circles. I felt like a child once again, and looked wide-eyed at the paradise rolling out all around us. Such large spaces of beauty seem to create a vacuum...they seem to possess their own gravity and pull you towards and into them as if with a tractor beam.

 The water was so clear I couldn't help but wade in up to my waist...fortunately I had my Vibram 5 Finger KSO's on!! These little shoes are fabulous...especially if you are a rock climber, or like to amble about or run barefoot. Check out your local hiking store to see if they carry them. Here is their site!

KSO's make you feel like a Nature ninja!

I admired the tenacity of this tree to grow through a crack in the rock. 

Proof that nothing is ever permanent..

We explored the meadow for the afternoon, walking away from the road, towards the river and passed all manner of rocks and trees, encountering almost no one once we left the road. Our entire week in the park had no rain, just hot temperatures, magnificent views and, fortunately, no cell phone reception!

Our last stop was the Tuolumne Grove of Giant Sequoias...sequoias are truly exceptional trees...they were almost driven to extinction because their wood is so valuable...I think it is over 300 times more dense than pine. The forest was quiet with a light humidity as we walked in the shade of their shadows...we followed the winding trail down through the forest, marvelling at their immensity and the majesty of these unique trees.

Jay demonstrating the scale of the giant sequoias...

Yosemite seems like a lifetime away now, but yet the memories of spending time here will never leave me. The park thankfully, is protected, and we have the freedom to explore its wilderness to our hearts' content. If you have the chance to visit Yosemite National Park, please do. It has a quiet magic that will cast a spell on you and will not lead you astray. I promise :)

  

"I will be the gladdest thing under the sun. 

I will touch a hundred flowers and not pick one."~Edna St. Vincent Millay

Have a beautiful day, wherever you may be...

UPDATE! 

I now have prints, mugs, magnets of my paintings and photographs available!

Please check out my profile here on Deviant Art and click "Prints".

 I will continually add new paintings and photographs for purchase. 

Thoughts on "127 Hours" And What We Overcome: Part 1

"Figure, Folded", oil on canvas

"The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it."~Moliere

I was on the treadmill today thinking about "127 Hours", as I have every day for the past week. Eight days ago my friend Natalie and I went to Toronto to see this film that I had heard so much about. It is the cinematic adaptation of Aaron Ralston's life threatening experience hiking near Moab, Utah in 2003. Knowing full well what was going to happen in the film, I was nervous about watching"the scene". Would I faint? Feel nauseous? Natalie thrust a colour photo from the center of Ralston's book "Between A Rock And A Hard Place" into my wide eyes, so that I could see his amputated arm, encased in rock and with splashes of crimson all around. That diminished my fear a bit, all the while piquing my curiosity about this man and what he did when there was no other option.

I had full confidence that "127 Hours" would move me. And it did. I've been watching Danny Boyle's films ever since "Shallow Grave" (1994). (Ewan McGregor laughing to himself in the restroom at a wedding, muttering "f#*king bin bag. He made that film).

As for "127 Hours" I was pulled into Aaron Ralston's world immediately. The film had a directness and did not embellish. It did not fall prey to many films that pad their premises with drama for drama's sake. I liked that. It simply took us to the heart of his ordeal yet laid it out in a thoughtful and beautiful way.

As an artist and outdoor enthusiast, I'm attracted to landscapes that take the breath away. I am bewitched by great distances between things. I MUST and WILL hike and experience that pocket of the world...ever since reading 'Desert Solitaire' two years ago, Edward Abbey's description of Arches National Monument and the surrounding landscape has haunted me. The film integrated the landscape with Ralston's enthusiasm perfectly..all the while drawing him nearer to the place that would change, and nearly take his life.

I have contemplated Ralston's act of cutting off his arm. Could I do the same thing? Would I survive it let alone have the courage to try? One can only speculate for it is only in that moment that you really discover the answer. So I started thinking...what have I overcome that has made me who I am today?

Now, keep in mind human beings compare in order to understand. We evaluate ourselves against the trials of our peers. Ralston lost an arm. That's heavy stuff. I'm not trying to compare our respective situations other than drawing even the most remote parallel.

Two experiences in my life have shaped me into who I am now. The first feeds into the second. In this blog entry I will describe the first experience. In a few days I will write about the other..

Three years ago I overcame an eating disorder that had me very VERY ill. I am 5'8" and had whittled down to 100 lbs at my lowest weight. I could not sit on a wooden chair or sleep with my knees stacked together for the pain from lack of body fat/muscle. I was in a crazy situation that had been precipitated by a depression following my mother suffering a massive stroke. I sought control in a situation that had swung madly off the charts of my understanding.

I obsessed about what I ate and overexercised. It became a game. A deadly game. My brain and body chemistry had altered so much that I felt like a husk of a human being. I felt like and looked like a wraith drifting between the world of the living and the dead. It was only when I was told I had osteoporosis at the age of 32 that I snapped out of it. Then and there in the doctor's office. That diagnosis changed me. I was not ready to perish. I was not ready to let go. I walked out of that office, ate whatever I wanted that day and never looked back. Now, four years later I have almost entirely reversed my bone loss (bone is the slowest growing tissue in the human body), am healthy and hike all over the world. With a combination of tenacity and determination, there truly is no limit to what you can do.

"Self-Portrait, Between", oil on canvas

Keep in mind I had to paint and earn a living through the eating disorder. The fire had left my eyes but there was always a spark deep inside. I knew this situation could not continue. It was like living two lives: the one I was trapped in and the one I knew was the correct one. I needed to paint myself in these places of unhappiness. As Picasso once said "painting is just another way of keeping a diary."Thus I have a record of what I went through with some of my self-portraits. Even the other work I did has echoes of that sadness in them. Here are some examples:

"Self-Portrait, Bedhead" This one won a prize :)

"Double Portrait", oil on canvas, 48"x36"

 "The Spare Room", oil on canvas, 30"x60"

I think that this period of my life produced some of the most emotional work I have done. Yet I was not healthy. I painted as though through a gauze, in the shadows, indirectly. Now I am back on track and painting with a vibrant palette and carving out experiences wherever the wind blows me. It is all a part of our own unique history. We all have a way of tallying our lives, of realizing them with permanence. Mine is through paint and words.

Thus back to Aaron Ralston

"Art begins with resistance-at the point where resistance is overcome. 

No human masterpiece has ever been created without great labor."~Andre Gidé

"Chris's Tent, Stampede Trail"

"By all means use sometimes to be alone.

  Salute thyself; see what thy soul doth wear."

  ~George Herbert

It is human nature to test oneself. There is a desire to carve out one's character and prove one's mettle in this world. How we do this is beautifully varied and unique to each of our own temperaments. Some of us dream to take the leap into this unknown. Others do it. Chris McCandless did it. The fact that he perished while realizing his dream doesn't change the fact that at least he tried. This is why I have gravitated to his story and the photographs that he took have inspired over 14 paintings based on his adventures from 1990-1992. "Chris's Pack, Stampede Trail", 18"x36", oil on canvas,  is the latest in this body of work.

Chris set out on The Stampede Trail on the morning of April 28th, 1992. It was cold and spring was particularly late arriving that year. This painting shows  the snow-packed trail and his small camp that he has set up right on the track. Considering how many mushers and snowmobilers, skiers and outdoor enthusiasts frequent the area, it is pretty amazing that Chris didn't see another soul for 113 days. But this is probably what he hoped for. Total isolation. The ultimate test to see if he could do it. And he almost did. 

The Stampede Trail runs along a small parcel of land that is technically in the Wolf township. It is surrounded entirely by Denali National Park, a vast expanse that is over 6 million square acres. Stampede Road graduates into Stampede Trail, and the trail meanders for over 20 miles before dissolving into the wilderness. Along the trail there are a few cabins but it is largely unpopulated. I have hiked the entire length of Chris's journey along the Stampede Trail, so going through his photographs I feel a wave of nostalgia, which strikes me as a bit strange. Read about my entire journey here. I recognize areas that he photographed (the Teklanika River, Bus 142, the gravel bar near the Sushana River). This painting is another of Chris's many "self-portraits". His tent, his small home, his worldly possessions all assembled on the cold earth, are an extension of himself. He wanted to look back on these images and remember what he had done and where he had been. 

In approaching this painting I wanted to accentuate the space, the open sky and surrounding landscape. The colour palette is muted. Subtle. I used a lot of grey which I mix on my palette rather than purchasing grey in a tube. The same goes for black. I like to mix all of these tones each time I apply a bit of pigment. I never mix a large quantity of paint to draw from but prefer the inherent variations produced from mixing for each brushstroke. That is why a large section of black can have echoes of dark green, purple, crimson or blue.

Painting white is one of my favourite things to do. Whether it be snow or sheets draping a figure, all colours are found in white, but the challenge is to show that it IS white...how does one do that? Like anything else, it is a balance of value and colour. The important thing is to stay open to being surprised by what you see and being faithful and resolved to reproduce it on canvas as accurately as possible.

Although this painting is of Chris's tent along the Stampede Trail it could belong to any of us. It is a symbol. It represents the bottomless energy of youth and the determination to not shy away from the precipice. 


I have had many requests to show the painting of Chris's belt that I painted a study of. Here it is again. It is called "Diary Of A Supertramp (study)". A full version of the belt will be included in the "Back To The Wild: The Photographs And Writings Of Christopher McCandless", released in 2011! 

"Diary Of A Supertramp (Study)", oil on panel

Below is a photograph of the Stampede trail as it winds through the Alaskan backcountry in the height of summer. Photo courtesy of my dear friend Ed Plumb, who hiked it with me in 2008. 

"I hold it true, whate’er befall;

   I feel it, when I sorrow most;

   ‘T is better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all."

~Alfred Lord Tennyson