"Self-Portrait, Fugue"

fugue

fyo͞og/

noun

1. 1.

   MUSIC

   a contrapuntal composition in which a short melody or phrase (the subject) is introduced by one part and successively taken up by others and developed by interweaving the parts.
2. 2.

   PSYCHIATRY

   a state or period of loss of awareness of one's identity, often coupled with flight from one's usual environment, associated with certain forms of hysteria and epilepsy.

It's important to take note of unusual words encountered in a small period of time. Spoken or written, you see patterns. Recently the beautiful word 'fugue' came up twice in 24 hours. I was in the process of painting the portrait at the bottom of this blog post (and on the far right of the image above) and all of a sudden I knew what the piece would be called. 

The sooner we realize that nothing ever is permanent, the happier we will be....change is inevitable, the only true constant. Our mental states are often as tempestuous as a sudden snow squall. Our grip on sharp thoughts and clear focus may take a long while to become unstable, but when it does, we can spiral into a fugue state. 

This is my sixth "cathartic" self-portrait. The main reason for painting these self-portraits is I want to capture what it is to be bereft, or broken-hearted. There is an energy there, and a potential for creativity that is important to listen to, watch and learn from. I plan 99% of my paintings but when you will become unhelmed you must seize the moment and paint it.

So with each of these portraits I have examined, to my fullest capacity, the tumult and subsequent shift toward healing. These portraits are some of the only ones where the subject is looking directly (in some cases) at the viewer. It is an invitation in these paintings to look closer, to hold the gaze, and not look away, as we are often tempted to do when someone is upset.

This portrait is small, 4"x4"...there is a joy found in the small, revelatory pieces like this...just as a diamond jeweler looks through a loop, energy is condensed and the mind can focus on a tiny peek into itself on canvas.

I cherish these little paintings. They are certainly my most personal pieces. They mark where the only place to go was up, like filling your lungs and rising up out of the darkness, to not succumb but to break the surface and keep swimming.

"Self-Portrait: Fugue", oil on panel, 4"x4"

"Creativity comes from accepting that you're not safe, from being absolutely aware, and from letting go of control. It's a matter of seeing everything -- even when you want to shut your eyes." - Madeleine L'Engle

Good things come in small packages

"The Guest Room", 4"x5", oil. Available at Abbozzo Gallery 

Recently I created these two miniature paintings. Each is 4"x5". I find small paintings fun and freeing to paint. Many people ask me if they are more difficult to execute, and generally no, they are easier. Not only do they take less time, but something about only having a small surface to focus on makes me relax. When I am working on a huge painting (like right now) I have to focus on one area...otherwise it can get overwhelming!

Little paintings are like little windows, little peepholes into other realms. They have just as much weight as large paintings I think. They require you to look closely, to stand near, to put your ear up and listen to their story that is whispered and not shouted.

"Self-Portrait, Daughter", oil, 5"x4", private collection

Now large paintings have their place too. They take up your entire field of vision often. They are doors flung open, waiting for you to step inside. They have impact, they have a lot to say. I suppose that ultimately it is not the size of the painting, but the message contained within it. Often I think a lot of art is painted very large because human beings have a tendency to think that if something is painted on a HUGE canvas that it is somehow better, that it is superior art. Why? Because it is on a large format? I am not convinced. It should be good art because it is good art, not because it is placed on a huge scale.

I loved that these little pieces fit in the palm of my hand. I propped them on my coffee mug while I worked. What a wonderful little easel it provided! 

Here are two book covers that my artwork is on! The first is a Dutch publication about finding the sacred in every day things. The publishers found my painting of a clothesline from Newfoundland and thought that the clothes looked like Tibetan prayer flags. I thanked them for providing me with this copy of the book. I wish I could read Dutch!

The second book has my painting "February 2005" on the cover. It is another book of poetry by esteemed poet Samuel Peralta. "Tango Desolado" is currently #1 on Amazon Kindle's hot new poetry list. Here is the link: "Tango Desolado". I am very grateful to Samuel for including my work alongside his work. I have an incredibly high regard for his poetry. Please check it out if you are inclined.

A last thought about creating art. Sometimes we falter in our motivation. Or perhaps fear or anxiety grip us and we worry about starting, about how to finish, about what to do next. I can say this: practice patience with your work and your life. Keep at it diligently and do not live in the future but focus on the present, where your painting is today. Often we become deflated if a painting doesn't develop quickly enough or look like our mind's eye imagines it to look. Try not to be hard on yourself. You are there at the easel, or in your studio. Creating art requires courage. Trust that it will end up where you want it to. Work on the today, rather than trying to control the tomorrow. It will help you enjoy the process even more and thus produce better art.

Dates for my solo exhibition this autumn at Abbozzo Gallery are as follows!

Surfacing: New Paintings by Heather Horton

November 2-17, 2012

Abbozzo Gallery 

179 Lakeshore Road East, Oakville, ON

Opening Reception: November 2, 7-10pm

Artist meet and greet Sunday November 4, 2-4pm

"Greatness is a road leading towards the unknown."~Charles de Gaulle

Wordpress website revamp, exhibition dates and more...

"Self Portrait With Sasha", oil on canvas, 18"x24", available at Abbozzo Gallery

Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.~Vincent Van Gogh

So I finally did it. I have moved my website over from Flash to Wordpress. I have been dealing with this antiquated Flash site for years and now finally there's an easy-to-navigate site that makes viewing my paintings much easier. Please check it out and let me know what you think if you are inclined. I'm so happy to have a website that you can view on your mobile device now :)

Heather Horton Artwork

This site is a work in progress and I will continue to add new sold paintings to the body of work on the site. The above painting is one of only two remaining paintings that I will be posting before my solo exhibition at Abbozzo Gallery in November 2012. I want to keep some paintings back so there will be a surprise for people to see at the gallery. I have official dates for the show as well!

New Paintings

November 2-17th, 2012

Abbozzo Gallery, Oakville, Ontario, Canada

Opening Reception Friday November 2, 7-10pm

Artist Meet And Greet Sunday November 4, 2-4pm

179 Lakeshore Road East, Oakville, Ontario, Canada

905-844-4481, toll free 1-866-844-4481

I know it is a bit early to post this information but it is also good to plan ahead! In fact two paintings have already pre-sold before the show(!!), thus if you are interested in any pieces please contact the gallery.

The painting you see at the top of this entry, "Self-Portrait With Sasha", oil on canvas, 18"x24", is another painting about self-reflection and a bit of existential pondering. Sasha, my beloved Russian Blue cat, wandered through my composition while I was shooting reference as he likes being near me. I thought I would incorporate his form subtly at the bottom...not immediately evident but there upon closer inspection. 

I have had people tell me that my portraits seem sad. I suppose this could be so, but they are about contemplation and reflection rather than sadness most of the time. How often do we lie and think but have a huge smile on our faces? Not often I believe. I love smiling and to it a lot, but my paintings are about seeing someone in the middle of a moment. My great inspiration, Lucian Freud, and any number of painters over the years have not painted people smiling. But I think that is what distinguishes art from Sears Portraiture. It is not pat. It is not always tidy. It is the beautiful messiness of life that I try to instill into my paintings.

In less than a month I will be off to Western Kentucky University to lecture, critique student work and experience their wonderful art program. I am bringing some paintings down with me for a small exhibition as well. I will write about the experience here and post photos of course.

I hope this post finds you well and happy. Thank-you for following and reading. Thank-you for supporting artists such a myself and investing in our continued pursuits to express with paint what words cannot.

Heather

A couple of photographs to share with you...

My 'Alaska Fund'...saving up to return

And finally a photo that makes me very happy....one of the most beautiful stretches of road I have ever had the pleasure to drive a number of times, entering into Haines Junction near Kluane National Park, Yukon Territory. This photograph was taken last September...

The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.~Emily Dickinson

"A Life In Paint"

"Shoal Brook", oil on panel, 8"x10" One of the small paintings I am taking to

Turkey with me for the upcoming art exhibit for International Women's Day

"When it's all over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement.

I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms." ~Mary Oliver

Again I must apologize for being so neglectful of this blog. Blogs are, like many things, little responsibilities, commitments that we take on and try to nurture and help evolve through whatever we choose to write about, where we travel, whom we meet. I promise to pay more attention to this one in the next few months!

What with the hectic holiday season and some other challenges that have come up, time has slipped away from my regular entries on this blog, which really has become a travel blog, with the odd artistic musing as well. My robust travel schedule begins in earnest next month, with journeys to Arizona, New York City and Ankara, Turkey starting off this exciting year!

The journey to Ankara is particularly interesting because I have been invited by the gracious wife of Canada's Ambassador to Turkey. There is an art exhibit and fundraiser that will be coinciding with International Women's Day in March and I will take a small selection of paintings to have for this exciting event. Proceeds from the show will help women in need in Turkey, which makes the whole adventure even more compelling.

Two other important projects are also happening. One of them I have spoken about already. The pictorial book of photographs that Christopher McCandless took on his two year odyssey from 1990-1992 is coming together! I am working on paintings for this book, paintings based on Christopher's photographs. It is a collaborative effort with Chris's parents and the whole project is very thrilling and one that is especially close to my heart.

Another fledgling artistic endeavor that I have taken on is writing a book based on my travels and subsequent photos and paintings. It will also have a strong, personal component and have my day to day journal included. I shall try my best to steer clear of self-indulgent, navel-gazing writing here yet try not to self-edit too much. The most important thing is that this writing come from the heart, where all true art truly originates.

"Self-Portrait, Renewed", oil on canvas, 14"x11"

Another painting that I shall take to Ankara with me.

My dear friend Wyll is the one who really encouraged me to take on this writing project. I hope that people will find it interesting and want to read it. It is a terrifying yet exhilarating prospect, and on my list of things to do in my lifetime. Why put it off...why not start now? This could apply to anything in our lives...if you have been putting something off, whether talking to someone or making a career change, why put it off? Act today. As Ghandi so wisely said: "be the change you want to see in the world." Thanks Wyll...

Upcoming Events!

I will have a small painting in this year's Burlington Art Centre Art Auction, happening on February 19th, 2010. Here are some details!

"Self-Portrait, Renewal", oil on panel, 8"x10"

"Sasha", oil on canvas, 16"x12"

The cat, what can one say about this glorious creature? With its majestic form, formidable meow, rhythmic purr, and its uncanny ability to hear a can of tuna being opened from three rooms away? One cannot help but fall madly in love with such a glorious creature. Therefore, and quite happily, we as avid cat fanciers have created this homage exhibition consisting of paintings, drawings and transfer art to express our love for the cat. The show was inspired by two cat lover art friends and their cats, Zorica Krasulja and Claudette Losier, who then invited their other cat loving art friends to participate in their show: Heather Horton, Amanda Mckinney, Cathy Peng, James Wylie, Carolyn Endacott, Gisele Grenier, Theresa Dinsmore, and Patricia Robertson.

The Cat's Meow

March 1-31st, 2010

Intolerant Gallery

239 King Street East, Hamilton, Ontario

Opening Reception March 6th at 7pm

Have a beautiful day, wherever you are...

Heather

Self-Portrait, Renewed

"We know what we are, yet know not what we may be." 

~William Shakespeare

I have been seeking a balance between small and large paintings recently. I enjoy painting small, intimate pieces from time to time. I am more comfortable within the confines of a smaller area to cover with paint. "Self-Portrait, Renewed", oil on board, 12"x9", falls into the latter category.  So while there are larger canvases on my easel as of late in preparation for my solo exhibition in November 2009 at Abbozzo Gallery in Oakville, Ontario, I periodically revisit the self-portrait. Small, like a whispered story passed between good friends, I find solace in these studies. 

We know ourselves better than anyone else. Through our perception we experience the world. Though our judgement may cloud from time to time, ultimately we must examine the depths of our being and figure out a way to relate in this world that is so often filled with doubt, mayhem and difficult choices. If we employ a tack of regular, periodic self-reflection we can truly cherish the beautiful nuances of our daily interactions; appreciate them acutely, genuinely. 

As the calendar year changes over imminently I have great feelings about what will transpire in 2009. I have at least two exciting projects that have begun in earnest and making them a reality is my prime directive for this coming year. It is with joy that I come to the easel most days, it is with a sense of accomplishment that I put down the brush when fatigue sets in. Do you approach your daily tasks with joy or with doubt? If you are dragging your feet metaphorically or literally, what can you to do change that pattern? I see now more than ever that fear within us of the unknown, the fear of failure or inadequacy...it can paralyze us and stifle us into continued self-imprisonment. Fear can prevent you from living your life as fully as possible. It will, but only if you let it. Do not compartmentalize your mind but think outside of it, see what you are capable of. You might surprise yourself. 

From a technical standpoint this painting was a joy to work on. I love wood panel..in particular I enjoy the texture and the grain of the wood. I use about three coats of gesso with minimal sanding between coats. Perhaps it is impatience but I love getting to the piece as soon as possible. Reds are difficult to paint. I have talked about this challenge in other blogs but I shall reiterate here how fickle reds are. They cannot be tamed like other colours can. The addition of white ruins any hope of achieving the desired hue. Leave it alone unless you want toothache pink. No, I have to be patient with mixing reds. I use Alizaron Crimson and Cadmium Red Medium. But these pigments are merely the start. All other colours can come into play to achieve what specific tone you are after. It is a bit of a metaphor for life isn't it? Be patient, approach your tasks with joy, and enjoy the results of your labor. 

On one side note, if you are on the social networking juggernaut also known as Facebook, I have a fan page set up. Simply search for Heather Horton Artwork and you will see the page. Then click "become a fan" and you are done. Thanks and have a wonderful day!

"Art is not a handicraft, it is the transmission of feeling the artist has experienced."

~Leo Tolstoy

Self-Portrait, Fitful

"Self-Portrait, Fitful", oil on canvas, 18"x24",2007, is a paradoxical painting. If the viewer did not see the title, would he/she think that I was sleeping peacefully, under the watchful eye of my cat? It would seem so, however the title is very indicative of how I was feeling at the time. I thought it would provide a nice contrast between what is seen on the canvas and what the title would imply. I like schisms...a contrast in the viewer's initial impression of my work with additional clues to the narrative provided by the title. I intentionally leave many of my titles pretty static, perfunctory, almost clinical. I am not one to swan about with Wildian titles such as "My Own Private Melancholia" or "The Existential Dilemma I Fight With"...that is the job of the paint, to provide clues as to what is happening on the canvas.

I do really think that titles can hinder paintings. What do most people do after they take a quick scan of a piece of art? They look at the title. Now, that little card can provide some great knowledge about the piece, but perhaps we should look at that sculpture, photograph or etching and formulate some of our own ideas about it before we seek the counsel of the little white card beside it. I am ranting here but my point is that personally, my titles serve to provide little hints of information, not hand the meaning to the viewer on a platter. I have said this before and I will say it again. I want people to draw their own creative conclusions ultimately. The title is merely a railing on which they can rest their hands for awhile while they guide themselves down or up the stairs.

"Self-Portrait, Fitful" is the product of a rather manic bout of reference-shooting. Deadlines were looming, inspiration was almost non-existent and my cat Simon was terribly interested in why I was acting so strangely. It was not a happy day, not a peaceful time. Therein is the real irony as I have had people comment that I looked like I was quite serene. Not at all. I was anxious and desperately wanted some magic to happen.

On a quick technical point, the blacks of my comforter were fun to paint. I could write a whole entry on blacks, mixing them and having fun with their different permutations depending on the ratio and colours used to make said tone. I have written about blacks before, but they do fascinate me, perhaps because they really are a conundrum...they have all colours in them and yet they appear devoid of colour sometimes.

Also, my episode of The Artist's Life on Bravo! Channel aired today. I will be sure to post when it will be shown again to give you, dear reader, some time to perhaps set up your PVR or VCR if you are interested in seeing it.



"I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best."
~Frida Kahlo

Self-Portrait, Bedhead

One morning I woke up and feeling rather depressed and uninspired. I looked at myself in the mirror.

I saw a painting.

This piece is meant to stand against all of the times that we primp and fuss over our looks, it is the most naked portrait of myself that I have done I believe. So often we hide behind devices, moods, make-up, all manner of tools to distance ourselves and appear to be something we are not. I looked upon this piece as an opportunity to depict myself in the most honest way possible.

I see it as a chance to make something positive out of an initially negative moment.

"Self-Portrait, Bedhead" actually won a prize as well! It was in a show at the Oakville Town Hall last year and, to my surprise and delight, won an award. I was elated.

I had a conversation the other day with some new friends and we spoke about the self-portrait. I spoke how, personally, we really are the only filter through which to experience life. We are the vessels where stimuli and ideas coalesce, ferment, and express themselves to the world. Our bodies are the conduits for the expression. Our faces and bodies change along with our philosophies and opinions in one, long and lovely ballet through time. Self-portraits can serve many functions...as reminders of where we have been, testaments to standing at certain places and times in our lives, experiencing the happiness, pain and bittersweet heartache of things lost and, more importantly, things found.

"For those who know how to read, I have painted my autobiography." ~Pablo Picasso